


While Kissing Persuasive Lips

by lady_ragnell



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Friendship/Love, Gen, Kittens, Multi, Spies & Secret Agents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-29
Updated: 2015-07-29
Packaged: 2018-04-11 22:53:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4455599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lady_ragnell/pseuds/lady_ragnell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joly is the handler for a vitally important mission.</p>
            </blockquote>





	While Kissing Persuasive Lips

**Author's Note:**

  * For [samyazaz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/samyazaz/gifts).



> Because I am the handler to **samyazaz** 's secret agent, apparently.
> 
> Title is from Johnny Rivers's "Secret Agent Man."
> 
> I have no idea if Grantaire is actually part of the romantic relationship here but it seemed the easiest shiptag to use, there wasn't one with all for of them and ampersands.

“Headquarters, we're half a mile out from the target.”

Joly, when he hears Musichetta's voice, immediately scrambles to get in front of his computer monitor. “Good to hear from you, agents. Is the mission running on schedule?”

Angry car beeping. “We would be if the person in front of us weren't hopelessly lost,” says Grantaire, and leans on the horn again.

Honestly, he's got no sense of subtlety. There's a reason Joly doesn't assign him to covert ops very often. He would be out in the field himself if his hip weren't bothering him. “Agent R, what have I told you about keeping low profiles?”

“Probably lots of—there we are. Target in view, ops. Any advice for approach?”

Joly has the layouts memorized. Bossuet probably does too, but Bossuet's navigation skills tend not to be totally useful to other human beings. “North entrance will put you close to the package. It makes getaway difficult given traffic patterns, but I've got faith in this team. Musichetta, you know the instructions for the dead drop?”

“Of course, HQ. Once we have the package, our contact to get out with it safe will meet us by the exit. It should be a brief rendezvous.”

“We're parked,” Bossuet reports, because Grantaire doesn't like talking while he's parking. “Good sightlines for exits—ooh, I'm going to have to transmit you a picture of the location, ops, could be important.”

“I'll look forward to it at mission debrief.” He can hear the car doors shut across the line, and Joly prepares himself for the next phase of the mission. The computer tells him they're in time—they'll get out before things get hairy, and they'll be back to the safehouse in very good time. “Be advised, agents, when you leave you might want to take the scenic route home. There's a traffic alert—maybe a police blockade. You should assume you have a tail and behave accordingly.”

“Roger, ops.” That's Grantaire, probably snatching the phone from Musichetta as they all enter the sight. It's bustling in there, from what he can hear over the line. “You know no one's ever beaten us to a mission objective—Bossuet has visual contact with the package.”

“Bossuet,” says Joly, “you commence extraction. Musichetta, if there's intelligence to be gathered, you're on it. Grantaire, stay on communications.”

“Heard and acknowledged. How are things at HQ, ops? This is a dangerous mission. They could trace it back home.”

Joly grins up at the ceiling. He doesn't need the computer for this part. “Everyone here at HQ has faith in this team, you know that, but we're prepared for all eventualities, of course. I've been making sure the package will be safe and sound when it gets here.”

“Excellent. All the preparations are finalized?”

“Completely. All procedures have been followed to the letter, and of course I'll have you do a sweep when you return to my office, for bugs and anything that might make dealing with the package difficult.”

“You can count on us. Agent Musichetta is speaking to our contact in the building, and it looks like—yes, Bossuet has the package, repeat, he has the package. I'm going to inspect it and then we'll make sure it's contained safely for the journey home.”

“Your conscientious streak is appreciated, agent. Do you need to go dark?”

“Negative, ops. Here's the package, I've got it from Bossuet now.” There's a little noise. “Everything as it should be,” says Grantaire, sounding satisfied.

“Here, I'll take comms, we know you're going to have better luck disarming the package and making sure it's safe for transport,” says Bossuet, voice getting closer. “Musichetta is getting intelligence from our contact, ops, but I'm expecting us to be en route in less than ten minutes. We may have to take a brief detour.”

Joly frowns. “Detour?”

“A secondary mission objective—M herself has signed off on it. You can't object to that.”

“M is in the field with you. You don't think her judgment is compromised? I trust you, but that package is of utmost importance.”

“The package will reach you unharmed and soon, ops. You won't even have time to miss us. But you know that sometimes M has ideas that can't be shared over comms for reasons of security.”

Musichetta isn't as much of a loose cannon as Grantaire. Usually, when she says a mission needs doing, she's correct. Not sharing even at his level of clearance means it must be something important, though. “I trust your discretion, Bald Eagle.”

“We won't let you down, sir.”

“You never have. This team is the best one I've ever worked with, and if this mission is successful you'll all be receiving a commendation.”

“Ooh! Package is secured, ops, and ready for transportation! All agents are collecting at the exit, and it looks like we'll get away clean.”

“Contact is satisfied and gave us intelligence necessary to keeping the package safe and secure, to be reported at mission brief,” Musichetta reports. “Bald Eagle let you know that there's a little extra time on our return trip?”

“I don't know how I feel about unsanctioned errands on mission, I couldn't prep for security of the location, but I trust you. Just remember that you have precious cargo.”

“Roger, HQ. I promise we'll be safe.” Her voice gets a little farther from the phone. “R, you've got to drive, I'll take this and secure it for transport.”

“Thanks, M.”

Joly stays on the line while they exit the building (no interceptions, excellent) and return to the getaway vehicle. Grantaire is an exception getaway driver, and he'll get them home safe and sound, Joly has no doubt.

“We're on the road, ops,” says Bossuet after a tense minute. “Repeat, package is secure and we are en route. I'm cleared to stay we're stopping at a quartermaster waystation to pick up something we'll need for debrief. We're going to go dark for approximately twenty minutes, and we'll call you when we're five minutes out to prepare.”

“Roger, agents. Your conduct has been commendable at this meeting, and I wish you luck with your secondary objective. Let me know if you need support. Your handler is, of course, always on call.”

“Roger, ops, over and out,” says Bossuet, and hangs up.

Joly is always a little at loose ends, after a mission, but there's always preparation for debrief to do, and in this case, preparation to deal with the package as well. Just because he's got the safehouse set up and ready for all of them doesn't mean he can't check it over again, so he spends the time waiting for their next check-in going over everything with a fine-toothed comb and preparing hydration and nutrition for the returning agents. It's important to keep them healthy, and his team usually prefers to go right into debrief.

He's glad when his phone rings about fifteen minutes later. “Team. Is your secondary mission objective achieved?”

“Affirmative, HQ,” says Musichetta, voice warm. “We're about three minutes out from the safehouse, which I believe will be beneficial for the package, the secondary objective, and your agents. Will we see you there?”

“Everything is prepared for your arrival.”

“And you haven't had any trouble?”

“Nothing to speak of.” Grantaire curses loud and colorfully in the background of the call, and Joly sits up straight, alarmed. “Agents?”

“Distractions on the road,” Musichetta says, quiet and soothing. “Agent R is doing an admirable job of avoiding them, but this one is particularly bold. Don't worry, though, we'll protect the package and ourselves with our lives.”

“I would expect nothing less.”

“Safehouse sighted,” says Bossuet. “Repeat, safehouse sighted. We will park and be with you in approximately two minutes.”

“Acknowledged. You know the password.”

“We do,” says Musichetta. “Over and out, HQ. It's been a pleasure working with you as always.”

“The same to you.” Joly hangs up and goes to the door to wait for them. He hears them coming up the stairs—probably Grantaire, he's really not good at subtle, but Bossuet and Musichetta are laughing too, all of them happy to be on agency-controlled properly, and Joly listens as one of them knocks four times, pauses, and then knocks another three in quick succession. “What's the password?”

“Six hundred pounds of weasels,” says Grantaire, who's the best at passwords if the worst at stealth, and Joly swings the door open.

All three of them are grinning at him, Musichetta with a paper bag from the grocery store in one arm and Grantaire carrying the cat carrier. Joly makes grabby hands. “Come on, open up.”

“For a handler, you are really bad at mission debrief,” says Bossuet, but he kisses Joly on the cheek and shuts the door behind them all.

“I know, I know, sorry, I've just been looking forward to this all day.” Joly frowns and looks at Grantaire. “What was all that about obstacles, anyway?”

“Pedestrians in the road,” says Grantaire, groaning, and sets the carrier down on the ground so he can open the door. Nothing immediately comes flying out of it. “She's a little shy.”

Joly leans on Bossuet to get down on the ground, and he is probably going to need two people to get him up today, but he's too impatient to wait to meet the newest member of their household. It's been a very long two weeks waiting for her to be old enough to take home, and she's still as adorable as she was the day they chose her, a little ball of fluff huddled in the back of the cat carrier. “Welcome, Code Name Crumpet,” he says solemnly, because it's the interim name they've agreed on, and she makes an adorable little noise. “I know, acclimating to the agency can be hard, but you're on a team of excellent professionals. We'll show you the ropes.”

To his delight, his voice seems to be tempting her in his direction, our maybe his outstretched hand. She seems interested in saying hello, anyway. “We got some ice cream to celebrate, when you're finished flirting with Crumpet,” says Musichetta.

“You're just jealous because she already likes me best. Was that the secondary objective, then?”

“You bet.” Grantaire grins down at him. “Also, Bossuet took a picture of a man walking like eight dogs at the shelter, which is an important part of mission debrief. Do you want me to scoop the two of you up so you can cuddle and coo at the table with ice cream?”

“Agent R, you show excellent initiative. Yes, let's do that.”

There is not a lot of dignity involved in the standing-up process, but that's cool. Joly is happy to rely on his team to get up faster so he can have more time petting Code Name Crumpet, who seems to like his lap after yowling at Grantaire for daring to put her on it. “Are you morally obligated to go over to the dark side now that you have a fluffy cat?” Bossuet asks, considering, while Musichetta starts hunting down all of their favorite bowls in the cabinets. They really need a better dish organization system. Or one at all.

“Only if you three come with me, I refuse to go to the dark side alone,” says Joly. Code Name Crumpet is now curled up on his thigh, and she has the tiniest, most adorable purr in the world. He would probably go to the dark side for her.

“Well, obviously.” Musichetta succeeds with the bowls and tucks her hair behind her ears. “What happens when the handler goes dark is that the team goes along while the handler gives them increasingly morally gray missions until it's too late to get out and there's more loyal to the person than the agency anyway, so with regret they follow down the path of darkness. And, I mean, I'm head of the agency these days anyway. We could take down the whole structure from within.”

Joly laughs. “Well, agents, today you can have the comfort that you did only good things, and that I'm not tempting you over to the dark side at all. You've done well, and the according commendations will go in your files.” He loves making commendations. He and Grantaire do them together and they both get covered in marker ink.

“Higher-ups make sure to commend good handlers as well, and I'll be making a glowing report,” says Musichetta. “Now, are we going to eat this ice cream while I tell you all about kitten care?”

“Definitely,” says Bossuet, and Grantaire is already pulling up a chair, turning it around backwards because he is incapable of sitting in a chair like a normal human being.

Joly beams around at them all, at his favorite flavor of ice cream melting on the counter and his three favorite people in the world standing in the kitchen smiling either at him or at the kitten in his lap. “Mission successful, agents. Let's continue with the debrief.”


End file.
